There's some kind of stigma out there that you can't talk badly about your birth. That it should be one of the happiest days of your life. That nothing bad could ever happen.
Society today sees birth as sunshine and rainbows and the media portrays births as "easy" and "exciting"...
But what happens when thats NOT the type of birth you had? What happens when you had a traumatic labor and birth?
Maybe you had an induction, or emergency cesarian, or had to use medical induction methods, or felt violated by a physician or nurse (physically or emotionally).. Anything that wasn't "in your plan" can lead to feeling as though you had a traumatic birth.
Those first few weeks after delivery are HARD... and it is even harder if you can't seek the help and care that you need because you feel sad, traumatized, or angry about your delivery.
Friends and family will half listen and say things like:
"Well at least you have a healthy baby"
"back in the day they didn't even have those kind of interventions"
"At least your baby lived"
Then you have a new feeling... you feel guilty
You feel guilty that you're dealing with all these emotions when you do have a healthy baby and "technically" you are "physically fine", or you may not have a healthy baby or be fine, but thats what all these people "see".
Then people start to say "Well don't tell "Trisha" about your birth, she'll never want to have kids!" or "Oh honey, the next one will be better"
What do you do? What do you do when you feel broken and that you let yourself down?
You take those people and throw them out the window. You tell them that just because everything is fine now, it wasn't then and that hurts you! You are upset about what happened. You were scared and traumatized and need validation, not judgment!
The only way to change the stigma surrounding birth is to talk about it!
Please if you are feeling you experienced birth trauma reach out to someone, it can be a loved one, friend, or neighbor. You are NOT alone, birth trauma and sadness are REAL.
Please if you are in the area and feel you need to talk, contact me and we can set something up! No one should have to deal with these feelings alone, and everyone deserves the right to tell their (real) story.